On the day that we were supposed to leave to celebrate the Fourth of July up north with my family, Joe found out that he had to work late. After working through my initial disappointment, I decided to use my extra time to get lunch with my sister-in-law and, while I was in town, buy some pregnancy tests.
Joe and I weren’t trying to conceive, although we’d talked about it frequently. At first, we’d thought maybe in the fall we’d start trying. But I seemed to keep pushing it back for one reason or another. I wanted more time alone with Joe, I wanted more time to grow my business without taking care of a baby, I wanted more time to heal after losing my dad.
But a couple of weeks before we left for our trip to Europe something had changed in me. I had a feeling of being ready for a baby (as ready as anyone can be). I shared these feelings to Joe one night in Dublin as the city bustled outside our window. His eyes gleamed with eagerness as he pulled me in for a hug and we agreed we’d start trying in the fall.
We returned from our trip and I battled one of the worst colds of my life. In those few weeks of being home something had felt off about my body and my cycle. I figured it was probably from traveling internationally. But before we went away for the holiday weekend with my family I wanted to be sure.
So there I was, on the eve of the Fourth of July, waiting for my husband to get home from work, peeing on a pregnancy test, fully expecting to see a negative result.
When two pink lines stared back at me the first thing I felt was shock. But that initial shock was quickly overwhelmed by a deep sense of comfort that this was God’s plan for us. Our lives were in His hands. And after all He had taken away in the past year, here was the most precious gift. I embraced it with my whole heart.
“What do we do now?” Joe asked me as we stood in the kitchen after I’d shown him all four positive pregnancy tests I’d ended up taking that day. We were both so happy even though none of it felt real. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.
And that’s how we entered this season of great hope and great uncertainty, as we wait and prepare to meet our sweet baby.
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