No Thanks

 

Every month that goes by I can’t believe how big my baby boy is getting, but six months seems like a particularly important landmark.  Half a year.  That’s how long we’ve been a family of three.  That’s how long our sweet David Joseph has been a part of our lives, making our world so much crazier and brighter. 

For three of the past four weeks, it was just me and DJ (and visits with extended family).  Joe was in Iowa restoring power to those who lost it in the derecho storm .  Being without the dada was really tough, but made me appreciate how whole I feel when my little family is together, how thankful I am for my amazing husband, and how blessed I am by my boys.

Mom guilt was very real for me, especially when Joe was gone, as I tried to run the house and my business and be everything for our sweet babe.  I wish that it wasn’t very real.  I wish that I could enjoy all the moments with my baby, and all the moments working on my business, and all the moments cooking and cleaning and traveling and just appreciate every single one of them for what they are.  And quiet my mind to everything else.  For the second half of this first year of my baby’s life ‘be present’ is going to be my mantra.  Because these are the moments that fill me up and I don’t want a busy mind to steal them away from me. 

Some of the best moments with DJ this month, the ones that I just want to soak up and live in forever, have been returning his gummy smile (that grows bigger every day), laughing as he sucks on his toes (and/or chews violently on them because after weeks of teething, no teeth have made an appearance), and watching him roll around the living room (I swear we’re going to have a crawler soon).  I love hearing his sweet voice as he plays with his lovey in his crib when he wakes up from a nap.  He stares at the camera and smiles, waiting for me to come get him and then greets me with the best giggle when I peak over his crib.  He makes the best faces when he’s talking to us.  I love hearing his talking (and facial expressions) evolve.  This month he’s added a new sound that resembles a pterodactyl.  If someone does something to make him laugh while I’m holding him, he’ll snuggle into my chest while he giggles and I swear my heart grows three sizes. 

Our little man has become so much more interactive and has really been favoring mama this past month.  Although it can be tiring when he always wants me, it’s so rewarding to have this little peanut that has my whole heart love me so much back.  I am so excited for our relationship to keep growing.

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